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A Toy to Zap my Joy

On the surface, it was a nice gesture…a stranger gifting the toy to my young son. I’ll admit- I got a bit nostalgic. When I saw her bring it out of the back bedroom, I was immediately transported back to 1983. I was a preschooler who loved spending time at my grandparents’ house. There, I… Read more »

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‘So fresh and so clean!’

When you’re wrestling an 85-pound bulldog into her first ever shower experience (don’t ask how the tub option went), worrying about what your toddler can destroy unattended suddenly ceases to be important. Little did I know, we would both ending up being so fresh and so clean, clean by the end.

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Oh, the places you’ll go….pee

Apparently, it’s now trendy to pee anywhere BUT in the toilet. Listen up, pre-schoolers. If you really want to confuse your Mama AND displace blame on everyone else, try peeing in these key locations: 1) by the laundry room door where your sweet puppy naps (Her response: “Naughty dog- out you go!”) 2) by the washer (Not once.TWICE) Her response:… Read more »

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The Ninja Mama Rules of Diapering

What to do when your nine-month-old makes the likes of a snow angel every time you change her diaper? Pin down her little legs gently with your heavy milk jugs aka chest. Sing itsy bitsy spider calmly while gazing into her eyes and simultaneously pulling on the diaper tabs. Block those windmill arms with your… Read more »

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The Ninja Mama Rules of Bed-Making

Go FAST. Make him into the bed if you must. He’ll eventually wiggle loose and find his way out, probably giggling a lot in the process. Or shrieking in terror. It could go either way. Go FAST. Pillow smacking and/or pillow clotheslining is acceptable practice when your toddler thinks it’s a game and it improves… Read more »

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The Ninja Mama Rules of Doctoring

So your toddler doesn’t want to take his medicine? Use reverse psychology. You ‘drink’ it first, and energetically exclaim how delish it is, and how you hope said toddler doesn’t want his because that just leaves more for you! Toddler will PROMPTLY guzzle that nasty stuff down. Every. Single. Time. Mission accomplished.

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OCD, yeah you know me!

I admit it- I’m somewhat of a germa-phobe…okay, it’s safe because most of you know me, so I’ll just own up to the fact that I have a MAJOR case of the OCD’s when it comes to germs. So stop touching my kid, people!