Apparently, it’s now trendy to pee anywhere BUT in the toilet.
Listen up, pre-schoolers. If you really want to confuse your Mama AND displace blame on everyone else, try peeing in these key locations:
1) by the laundry room door where your sweet puppy naps (Her response: “Naughty dog- out you go!”)
2) by the washer (Not once.TWICE) Her response: “Damn dog! Outside you go- permanently!”)
3) in baby ninja’s room (Her response: “Did I spill water in here? Did baby ninja remove her diaper and manage to pee on the floor without me noticing? Isn’t urine basically water anyway? Good enough for me.”)
4) in the shower (Her response: “Wait a second…”)
5) in the trash can (a little too Captain Obvious because she’s on to it now…holy inquisition…she’ll be good at questioning but refuse to break. As a last resort, just blame it on baby ninja; she does that kind of stuff “ALL THE TIME!”) At conclusion of said inquisition, promise to “always tell the truth.” That should at least elicit a smile or sigh.