My heart seriously stopped when I glanced in the den. Were those turds all over my floor? Let me explain why I immediately jumped to this conclusion. Lately, baby ninja has made it a habit of removing her pants AT LEAST five times per day..what the?!! I crept closer and closer, preparing myself for the stench…and then it… Read more »
Apparently, it’s now trendy to pee anywhere BUT in the toilet. Listen up, pre-schoolers. If you really want to confuse your Mama AND displace blame on everyone else, try peeing in these key locations: 1) by the laundry room door where your sweet puppy naps (Her response: “Naughty dog- out you go!”) 2) by the washer (Not once.TWICE) Her response:… Read more »
It’s 3 p.m. and I’m eating rice krispie treats straight out of the bowl. I tell myself that I made them for my ninjas, who both willed themselves NOT to nap today, but that’s a lie. Want the truth? It’s the only decent cheat food I could come up with on short notice. Ice cream takes too dang long to thaw (this is an EMERGENCY!), and there’s no good alcohol in the house. If you must know, I purposely did NOT buy wine last week. Because I knew if I had, I would be drinking it. Right. Now. Straight from the bottle.
What to do when your nine-month-old makes the likes of a snow angel every time you change her diaper? Pin down her little legs gently with your heavy milk jugs aka chest. Sing itsy bitsy spider calmly while gazing into her eyes and simultaneously pulling on the diaper tabs. Block those windmill arms with your… Read more »
It started out as a great day. A meetup with my sweet friend and her Mom, a play date for the boys and an opportunity for them to meet baby ninja. I even made hot cocoa and cookies, people. Because I was still on maternity leave and had my stuff together…mistake #1. It was a… Read more »
It was teething- round ‘I lost track’ because the boy was always teething. And that usually came with a whole host of lovely things, to include wicked diaper rash. His butt was so red and I hurt for him with each wave of a wipe. He had just pulled #1 AND #2 duties and I… Read more »