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Why Mama Can’t Have Nice Things…

Revelation of the day: I better just stick to sustaining human life around here…because my plant game is not so strong (thanks to the littlest ninja who plucked off ALL.THE.LEAVES in her spare time). ? #ninjamamadiaries #ninjaplease #momlife #imomsohard #sadsucculent#thisiswhywecanthavenicethings #wineme

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So Fresh and So Clean

Oh, you don’t have to wash your windows because they just stay clean by themselves? Yeah, me too…. #ninjamamadiaries #ninjasplease #momlife #imomsohard#sofreshandsoclean

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A Toy to Zap my Joy

On the surface, it was a nice gesture…a stranger gifting the toy to my young son. I’ll admit- I got a bit nostalgic. When I saw her bring it out of the back bedroom, I was immediately transported back to 1983. I was a preschooler who loved spending time at my grandparents’ house. There, I… Read more »

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Take a Load Off…

I took a load off (sat on the couch for more than five minutes for the first time in five years)…and someone else rewarded me by taking a load off, too. ? #ninjaplease #ninjamamadiaries #ninjanainteasy #imomsohard#takealoadoff #momlife #parentingfail #iwillneverrestagain#activateOCDcleaningmode  

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I heard it through the grapevine..

That glorious moment when you pick up what look to be raisins from the floor…because little ninja JUST asked you for a handful. But in fact, you quickly discover those aren’t raisins, kids. They are tiny pieces of POO….That. Just. Happened. ? ‪#‎isitbedtimeyet‬ ‪#‎wineme‬ ‪#‎ninjamamadiaries‬ ‪#‎ninjasplease‬ ‪#‎momlife‬‪#‎imomsohard‬

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Eau de Poo…

You latch everybody into their carseats, but you can’t shake the smell of poop. You meticulously scrutinize the bottoms of everyone’s shoes. Clean. It couldn’t be anyone’s pants because everyone just used the bathroom before you left the house. ? You chalk it up to the stool samples you’re hauling around in your purse. (Yeah,… Read more »

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Hair Gel and High Heels

For what feels like the 99th time this week, I’ve caught her raiding the hair gel pot. And today. Well, the results were simply too magnificent not to share. Her masterpiece is like a cross between ‘Something About Mary’ and ‘Ace Ventura’.

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Parenting is ‘Logs’ of fun…

  My heart seriously stopped when I glanced in the den. Were those turds all over my floor? Let me explain why I immediately jumped to this conclusion. Lately, baby ninja has made it a habit of removing her pants AT LEAST five times per day..what the?!! I crept closer and closer, preparing myself for the stench…and then it… Read more »

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‘So fresh and so clean!’

When you’re wrestling an 85-pound bulldog into her first ever shower experience (don’t ask how the tub option went), worrying about what your toddler can destroy unattended suddenly ceases to be important. Little did I know, we would both ending up being so fresh and so clean, clean by the end.

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Let me “axe” you a question…

Not gonna lie- I snorted a little when the ninja and I were reading his letter book for the week. I’m quite certain this book author and I are grammar soul mates (if there is such a thing?!)! Thank you for teaching preschoolers everywhere that there is a difference between ‘ask’ and ‘axe’. Start ’em… Read more »