Are They Still Breathing?

It’s 3:15 p.m. I have had nothing but silence to keep me company for TWO WHOLE HOURS. Baby Ninja finally fell asleep at 1:15 p.m. Ninja Boy put himself to sleep (my genius husband’s best idea yet!) around 1 p.m. And I have had nothing but time. Laundry is folded. Dinner underway. I even wrote for an entire hour without interruption! This is glorious. But then I worry. Are they still breathing? Did someone steal them? Did I leave them somewhere? Because this honestly never happens. You see, I’ve become accustomed (on a good day) to a brief 15-minute break between waking babies. This is the typical breakdown of said minutes:

  • stealthily tiptoe out of their bedrooms, down the hallway, and to the kitchen without waking anyone: 1 minute
  • scavenge through the fridge (quietly, please) for something edible: 2 minutes
  • microwave my find: 2 minutes
  • scarf down last night’s leftovers: 2 minutes
  • chug some water (or whiskey, depending on how bad the day has been): 1 minute
  • tiptoe (stealthily, remember?) out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the bathroom, where I briefly enjoy peeing by myself, wash and dry hands, don’t flush (that could wake up the ninjas), tiptoe BACK DOWN the hall, and into the living room where I sit down on the couch: 3 minutes
  • check my email or get even crazier and peruse Facebook (what a sinful admission!): 4 minutes

AND SOMEONE IS AWAKE. Every time. Except today.

Thank You, Nap-Time Fairy!

I’m freaking out a little, I even feel a tad bit guilty. Was this supposed to happen? Did I unknowingly lace their lunch-time juice with dramamine? I think a thank you is in order, nap-time fairy. The butt-crack-baring-tween-leggings-running-debacle definitely jacked the morning up temporarily. You knew I needed a little Mama time. I’m marking this one down. Because it might be a leap year before it happens again. In the interim, I’ll be on the couch basking in some free time…as soon as I get back from checking to make sure a crazy person did not climb in through a window and steal them. And if they are still in their beds, then I’ll just do a quick little check to ensure they are still breathing. Wish me luck.

Written by Ninja MaMa


Alexis Lockhart

I love this! I remember the days of tiptoeing everywhere! Or setting food about before nap time so I didn’t make more noise! I miss nap days! Luckily, my boys are old enough now that I can nap and they can entertain themselves. You will get there! Keep the faith! (side note: love your admission about recovering perfectionist! I have a post called the “Perfectionist’s Panic Freeze” here if you are interested:

Ninja MaMa

Thank you for your encouragement, Alexis- I try to remind myself that the days are long, but the years are short. Though I’d by lying if I didn’t admit your admission of taking a nap whenever you want sounds so enticing! I will definitely check out your link; thanks for stopping in and leaving me a note!

Ninja MaMa

I hope they were ‘good’ memories, Tammy! : )
This is precisely why I started writing again…I hope my kiddos can look back on my diary entries one day, and amidst all the chaos, see how much I truly loved ALMOST every moment of growing them up!


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